My Song to You
by Pookii Bear
Summary: Rinoa realizes that she is losing grip over her powers so she decides to flee garden to learn how to control herself again. Squall is devestated, but when they discover a famous raven haired pianist five years later...emotions change, and problems arise.
1. Shattering Glass

  
  
  
  
AN: Wow, its been a long time since I touched anything having to do with FF8. Haven't played the game in the longest time...and I'm starting to miss the characters :) Well, this will be my first fic since like a year so I hope you all enjoy it!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own FF8 and everything in it.  
  
Dedication: My ice cream boy :)  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**  
  
  
~My Song to You~  
Chapter One: Shattering Glass**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Life is so long, yet so short in some people's perspective. In my opinion, I personally think it's a long road going up and down...and right now I feel like everything is going deep down...rock bottom to hell. Yet thinking about a person in my life, makes everything seem to go up again...yet deep down I know we can't be.  
  
Why?  
  
He is the commander...I am the sorceress.  
  
We live in two different worlds...yet technically, we're all on earth and we happen to be in love. Such a strange thing isn't it? It's like black and white together...One is destined to save the world, while the other is destined to destruct and cause chaos. But life is fairly...let's say balanced. I mean, I'm not evil...but knowing that inside I have this...sorcery within myself that could take over my mind any second...is a heavy burden.  
  
Some people think that I'm still just that little girl...in that little group called the Forest Owls, trying desperately to fight for what's right. I know some people hate me..afraid of me even, and it hurts. Do they know that? Does everyone think maybe the sorceress doesn't have emotions? How would they feel if the world feared you and the best thing would be to have you killed?  
  
Sad. Yet everyone thinks I'm fine. I'm the happy, carefree girl named Rinoa Heartilly. Yeah, you could say that...to some extent. Not even my knight can sometimes see the other side of me and my emotions. Sadness, pain...I'm even scared. Scared that one day they'll all turn on me.  
  
It's such a possible thing that I feel like it could happen right now. The tables could be turned, and I could have Squall's gunblade at my throat. It's just a matter of time...I know it.  
  
Somehow I can feel in my veins that someday I won't be able to control the magic surging in me. I would do anything to go back to the time where I was just...Rinoa Heartilly...age 17.  
  
Princess of the Forest Owls.  
  
  
  
  
"Hey Zell!!" A excited usually hyper-active Selphie came bounding up from across the cafeteria and towards the blonde.  
  
Zell looked up from his pyramid of hot dogs and grinned. "Morning Selphie."  
  
She plopped herself down on the seat across from him, her brown hair bouncing up and down as she did so. "Guess what?!"   
  
"...Uh...what?" Zell blinked.  
  
Selphie squealed in delight. "I got Irvy a new hat!!"  
  
Zell looked amused, "But he would never replace that old hat of his."  
  
"Well, now he will!!" Selphie said with determination as she leaned back on the chair. "I know he'll love it!"  
  
Zell tried to hide his laughter as he bit into a hot dog, looking one hundred percent amused. "Uh huh, can't wait to see him in it."  
  
"I know!!" Selphie beamed.  
  
"Hey guys..."  
  
"Hey Rin!!" Selphie moved aside so that Rinoa could also take a seat next to her.  
  
Zell finished off his third hot dog and glanced at Rinoa quickly. "You seem grim." He commented.  
  
"Not enough sleep I guess." Rinoa replied as she rubbed her eyes.  
  
"Are you sure you didn't come down with a flu or something?" Selphie said worridly at the raven haired girl.  
  
Rinoa sighed, "No, it's nightmares. Nothing really though."  
  
Selphie frowned, "You know...they could be..."  
  
"Real," Rinoa finished for her and frowned. "Yes, I know, but I hate the fact that whenever I have dreams of some sort...people start freaking out because I'm the _sorceress_! And supposidly they'll come_ true_ ." Rinoa mumbled. "I hate it, I hate it all."  
  
"Oh cheer up!" Zell said cheerfully. "Want a hot dog?"  
  
Rinoa looked at him thankfully but shook her head. "No, it's ok. I don't feel so good..." She stood up from the table. "I think I'll go to the bathroom."  
  
"Ok," The two replied.  
  
Rinoa walked away from her two friends quickly, she had a pounding headache although she didn't feel feverish. Her feet carried her towards the bathrooms as she entered the ladies one.  
  
_I feel...so weird..._ Rinoa stared at her reflection in the mirror. Her round almond eyes seemed slightly tired, and as she reached to touch the tip of her raven hair, it felt awfully greasy._ I better remind myself to wash up..._ She stared slightly longer when all of a sudden the mirror cracked.  
  
First from the right hand corner, and then it kept on cracking downwards. Rinoa's eyes went wide as she stepped back, her eyes darting away from the mirror as she ran out of the bathroom.  
  
  
  
_Something's wrong with me...but what is it? The mirror...it can't just...it must have been me. Maybe my staring cracked it...but why?_ Rinoa walked quickly down the hallways of garden, not really knowing where she wanted to go.  
  
_Well, you're a sorceress._ A voice nagged at the back of her head as a another frown crossed her pink lips. _These things are normal..._  
  
"Ouch! Rinoa??"  
  
Rinoa looked up, startled that she hadn't noticed she had been walking straight into someone. "Oh!! Sorry..." Then she noticed it was a pair of intense deep icy blue eyes she had locked gaze with, and it was all to familiar. "Squall!"  
  
"Rinoa, are you feeling ok?" Squall said, concern in his voice.  
  
"Yeah, just I'm in a hurry," Rinoa lied but plastered a smile on her face. "Why weren't you at the cafeteria for breakfast?"  
  
Squall scratched his head and stiffled a yawn. "I kind of..."  
  
"Overslept," Rinoa teased and giggled.  
  
Squall nodded sheepishly. "Well, I had lots of paperwork last night...and so..."  
  
"Yeah...I know Squall," Rinoa said softly. "You work yourself to hard...I'm so worried for your health."  
  
"I'm fine Rin, it's you that I'm worried about," Squall sighed.  
  
Rinoa blinked innocently. "Me? Why me of all people?"  
  
"Well...you seem really off these days," Squall said in a hesitant way but then glanced away quickly. "Well, maybe it's just me."  
  
"Yeah, I think it's just you," Rinoa punched him playfully on the shoulder. "Well, I really need to go to my dorm to get some of my notes for class this afternoon."  
  
Squall smiled and nodded as he gave her a quick peck on the forehead when no one was around. "I'll see you then."  
  
"Ok," Rinoa smiled back as they parted.  
  
  
  
_I'm sorry Squall, I don't mean to lie to you..._Rinoa entered her dorm and locked the door behind her as she went to the window to let in some fresh air. _It's just that...I don't want you worrying over me when you have the whole garden to run.  
  
_She flopped onto her small yet comfortable bed and breathed into her bed sheets. "What am I going to do?" Rinoa mused out loud as she sat up, leaning against the white wall with her knees tucked in.   
  
Her chocolate eyes glanced upwards towards her slightly messy desk. A bunch of papers were stacked around the desk, a couple pens and notebooks. A clock sat by the corner and a glass of water which her eyes landed on.  
  
_Maybe I should go talk to Edea..._ The face of the friendly women appeared in her mind, formerly a sorceress herself. Rinoa looked at the glass of water, finding it actually interesting to look at.  
  
A shiny glass cup of water...and suddenly it broke into a thousand crystaline pieces, the water dripping over the edge of the desk.  
  
Drip.  
  
Drip.  
  
Drip..  
  
Rinoa sat on her bed, horrified as she quickly shut her eyes. _Oh hyne...what on earth is happening to me?  
  
  
  
  
  
_  
  
  
AN: Yes this chapter was short I guess, but I guess it's to get into the story. I hope you enjoy the first chapter so far and please R+R, thank you :)_  
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	2. Leaving

  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own FF8 and everything in it, Squaresoft does.  
  
  
  
  
  
**  
  
**

**  
  
~My Song to You~  
Chapter Two:**** Leaving**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
After several mintues of staring at the glass particles scattered on her desk and carpet, she realized she had to do something about it. She slowly stood up from her bed and made her way towards the shattered glass as she beant down to pick up the pieces carefully.  
_  
I'm scared....I don't know why, but I'm scared...I don't want to be scared. _She felt like crying, but at the same time, no tears would form and spill over her pale cheeks.  
  
"Ouch!" She cried out in alarm as one of the pieces cut into her finger.  
  
Blood started oozing out of the cut, it slowly dripped over her finger and dropped onto the piece of glass she had dropped. Rinoa watched, her eyes transfixed as her own blood hit the glass and dissolved it into thin air.  
  
She fell back in shock just as she heard a soft knocking at her door.  
  
"Rin? Are you there?"  
  
It was Squall, she could recognize that voice from ten miles away.   
  
"Rinoa?" His voice was more urgent this time.  
  
"Coming!!" Rinoa managed to call back as she pushed herself off the ground, her blue duster brushing on the carpet.  
  
She turned the knob and opened the door. "Hi!" She said cheerfully.  
  
"Hey," Squall replied, a small smile on his lips.  
  
Rinoa sighed, she could stare at Squall's smile for hours on end...and she knew he only smiled for her, which made her feel so special inside.  
  
"What's wrong?" Squall asked quickly, his smile fading.  
  
"Oh nothing," Rinoa stood on her tip toes and planted a peck on his cheek. "Why'd you come here?"  
  
Squall picked Rinoa up in his arms which made Rinoa give out a cry of surprise. "Squall!! What are you doing?!  
  
"It's lunch time." He answered in a plain voice.  
  
"I can walk silly." Rinoa giggled, but she loved being carried by Squall's arms.  
  
Squall ignored her comment and hurried down the hallways of garden towards the cafeteria. Rinoa giggled at the looks people were giving them, but she loved when Squall had these sudden outbursts to show affection.  
  
"Whoo! Go Commander Leonhart!!"  
  
Rinoa could tell Squall was turning a bit pink by that comment and she couldn't help but think he was ridiculously cute at the moment.  
  
_Drip...drip...drip... _She turned slightly pale at the sudden reminder of the shattered glass still scattered about in her room...the water dripping slowly down...  
  
"Rin?"  
  
"Hm?" That was when she noticed Squall had placed her down on her feet and they were standing outside of the cafeteria doors.  
  
Squall looked at her, "...Are you hiding something from me?"  
  
Rinoa glanced at his icy eyes, full of questions..."I was thinking...how cute you looked." Rinoa teased and skipped into the cafeteria before he could say another word.  
  
  
  
  
  
"I am getting so tired of grilled cheese sandwiches," Selphie complained as she bit into one.  
  
"That's why I eat hotdogs, you can never get enough!!"  
  
Quistis rolled her sapphire eyes, "You sound like a commercial guy."  
  
The group laughed.  
  
"Oh!! Look at Irvine!!" Selphie suddenly cried in delight as she pointed at the slightly embarrassed person coming up to their table.  
  
Rinoa tried to hide her giggles, along with Quistis as Zell brust into a laughing fit. "Oh my god Irvine!!"  
  
"Just shut up," Irvine groaned as he sat down beside Selphie. "Happy now?"  
  
Selphie smiled brightly, "Of course! You look great in that hat!!"  
  
"I know." Irvine mumbled.  
  
On top of Irvine's head, instead of his usual cow boy hat, was a straw hat with a big rim and three colorful feathers came out from the side.   
  
Squall just grunted, but they could all tell he was going to laugh any second, and finally a chuckle escaped his lips. "Good job Selphie."  
  
Rinoa picked up her fork to eat her salad when she felt slightly queezy and...not herself. She felt like she wasn't intact with her body when suddenly her eyes darted to the knife by Quistis' plate and it shot up in mid air at Squall.  
  
"Shit!" Squall blocked the flying knife with his gloved hand and winced.  
  
"Oh my god..." Quistis blinked and Selphie just yelped in surprised.  
  
Everyone in the cafeteria turned their eyes to them with curiousity.   
  
"There's nothing to look at over here," Irvine yelled and everyone quickly turned away.  
  
Rinoa, stunned at what had happened, quickly turned to Squall and took his hand gently. "Oh my gosh...Squall..." Her voice was shaky as she took off his glove to reveal a slightly deep cut on the back of his hand.   
  
"It's ok Rinoa..." Squall grumbled as he took his hand from her's. "The thing is...how the hell did that happen?"  
  
Everyone fell silent, and Rinoa casted her eyes to the floor._ I...I did it...didn't I?  
  
  
  
  
I need to get away from here...I have to..something's wrong with me. I know it. I'm a sorceress, and what I fear most is happening...I'm loosing control...I can't put a gip on it anymore...  
  
_An image of Squall's bloody hand flashed through her mind as she quickly stuffed her clothing into a small suitcase. _This time...it was only the hand...who knows what could happen later..._Rinoa tried to think of something more appealing but her thoughts kept on wandering back to Squall's wounded hand.  
  
Angelo came walking up to her leg and nudged it softly. She stared at the dog softly with affection and knelt down to scratch the back of its ear. "Oh Angelo...we're going to leave Garden and go somewhere that will be safe for me and for everyone..."  
  
The dog lifted his head, as if he understood and gave a soft whine. "It's ok Angelo...we'll still have each other..." Rinoa replied softly as she shut her suitcase and stared at her dorm fondly.  
  
_Squall...._Her eyes brimmed with fresh warm tears. Squall. The hardest thing for her to leave behind. _I'm sorry..._  
One hand found its way up to her necklace, with the two rings hanging together lightly on the chain. She unhooked the silver chain from her neck and slowly took out Griever and placed it on top of her desk with a pearly white feather beside it.  
  
She stood up and pulled the suitcase along with her with Angelo following close behind as she left her dorm without a sound.  
  
And if she were to look back, she would have noticed that the feather had blown off from her desk from the wind of her open window. And onto the carpet of glass...the pearly white fibres of the feather...stained with crimson blood.  
  
  
  
Where am I going to go? I don't know...I'll just keep on wandering the world? ...I wonder if I'll ever find another place where I can call home.  
  
Should I go back to Caraway? No..he would wonder of my sudden appearance...yet he would care. He would welcome me back...and then I would have a place where I could call home. But..I could never really get along with Caraway that well..do I really want to go back to that place I had ran from so many years ago?  
  
Mother...how I wish you were still here with me. Those times we sat at the piano together, while I watched your fingers dance over the keys...playing wonderful notes and pieces...I would have my eyes on you, and you would have your eyes on me, with a warm smile.  
  
To go back to the mansion...feels a bit like going back to the past. There's so many memories back there, all wonderful mostly...yet painful now to think of...  
  
Squall...will you hate me now? Now that I've left you without another word? But really, I love you...but I'm scared. I'm scared I'll hurt you, and hurt everyone...and then you'll be against me.  
  
Me...and the world. Me. Is alone. The world...is everyone.  
  
But if that happens...I would want to die from the tip of your gunblade...no one else's...oh Squall...it's all so complicated.  
  
I just wish none of this could have happened. I just want to be with you...and we could buy a little house away from all the comotion...be wedded...start a family...but that's just my fantasy. It's hard to think it will ever come true, now that this is all happening.  
  
Will you move on Squall? I would be happy if you did...but...I would still be waiting for you...? Yes, I would. Although I know we can't be...  
  
I'll be waiting...  
  
For a chance that I can be with you, truly.  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	3. Songs of Emotion

  
  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own FF8 and everything in it, Squaresoft does.  
  
  
  
  
  
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** ~My Song to You~**

**Chapter Three: Songs of Emotion**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
So why don't you go your way  
And I'll go mine  
Live your life, and I'll live mine...  
  
  
  
  
  
He would never forget that day.  
  
That day he woke up, thinking it was just any normal day. Gone through his daily morning routine of washing his face and attempting to tame his wild hair. And of course, give a little check on Rinoa.  
  
And he would still...never forget that day.  
  
That day he opened the door to her room with his master key, and found it empty.....and an eeriness swept over him...and loneliness. It felt like the room had been abandomed. Although nothing seemed _ too_ out of place...  
  
The bed was neatly made, two or three pieces of paper decorated the carpeted floor. That was when his cold icy eyes found the small droplets of dried blood and the crystaline shine of tiny shards of glass still left untouched.  
  
He ran over to the spot and placed a hand on the dried blood that crusted the soft carpet. He glanced upwards, towards her desk. Griever.  
  
All alone...sitting ontop of the wooden desk.  
  
He slowly stood up on his feet, staring at who knows how long, at the metal band. Until finally it hit him. She was gone.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
**Five Years Later****  
**  
  
  
23 year old Quistis Trepe walked through the quiet hallways of Balamb Garden. It was past curfew, and few people ventured out of their dorms.  
  
But Quistis Trepe had alot on her mind.  
  
She went to the Secret Area of the training centre and gazed up into the night sky. Stars. Stars reminded her of Rinoa, the sorceress, the one who disappeared five years ago...the one who sent Squall into a state of...depression?  
  
You could call it that...yet Quistis was silently mad. She didn't know why, or who she was mad at. Possibly Rinoa for making Squall retreat back into his little world, or possibly just since Rinoa left them all without another word.  
_  
We were your friends..weren't we?_ Quistis smirked slightly, making her gentle features seem cruel for an instance. _ Or not..._  
  
She knew if she was still the same Quistis Trepe six to seven years ago, she would have taken this chance to get to know Squall better. Yet now, she knew she wouldn't and couldn't.  
  
Her lips parted to take in fresh air, and closed almost as soon as it had parted. It was a peaceful night.....silence...yet she heard the sound of fighting back in the training centre and she wondered who would be up so late.  
  
The blonde instructor made her way back in and walked around until she saw a figure. She ducked behind a bush and watched.  
  
Squall.  
  
The young man's feautres were more mature than five years ago...and sadly, Quistis could see the sorrow and madness in his eyes. She frowned deeply.  
  
Why was Squall up so late fighting a bunch of flimsy grats? Maybe for pure amusement yet Quistis knew he didn't do this every night.  
  
That was when she remembered, it was March 3. Rinoa's birthday...to big of a day for the lion himself to bare.  
  
And so he comes here...and strikes at a thousand grats, the fury, the pain, the madness all shown through his strong thrusts of his gunblade.  
  
Quistis sighed, she wondered when his pain would end.  
  
  
  
  
  
Her fingers danced on the creamy white keys of the grand piano. The sounds of the notes ringing clearly in the vast auditorium, echoed back to her radiant figure.  
  
A slim young woman sat straight and tall on a leather piano bench. Her eyes slightly closed but not quite with an expressionless face. At least to all.  
  
But deep within herself, her expression was one of sorrow and longing. Her thoughts were a blur, and lost within the music she played. But through all her sorrow and misery...  
  
Her fingers still danced.  
  
Lively...and gently...soft...and excited. Her fingers, were her emotions, her emotions, were her songs.  
  
She finally neared the end of her piece, as her fingers hit a chord and ending the song in a gentle quick note. The End.  
  
The girl stood up, her dark raven hair tumbling down her shoulders and around her waist. She bowed and her audience cheered, throwing her roses and petals.  
  
She was showered with praise and admiration of her skill to play the piano. And secretly in her heart, she thanked them all, but she always repeated _'But my mother was better'_ with a small smile playing on her soft pink lips.   
  
And sometimes people would notice, her strong resemblence of a once well known pianist that had been married to the General Caraway. Yet she still just had that small smile and a shimmer in her eyes. "I am flattered to resemeble such a great person." She would say softly.  
  
Then she would retreat back into her own mind and thoughts...thinking and trying...to control the power running through her veins.  
  
_I'll be waiting...for the time I can be with you..._  
  
  
  
  



	4. Nobody wants to be Alone

  
Disclaimer: I don't own FF8 and everything in it, Squaresoft does.  
  
  
  
  
  
  


  
  
  
**~My Song to You~****  
Chapter Four: Nobody wants to be Alone**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The sound of different objects hitting against the white paneled wall filled the dark cramped up room, which was supposedly Balamb Garden's main office. Which was home to Squall Leonhart. The hero, the mighty lion that saved the world from time compression, the cold one, the...man who was a mess, who's face filled with no hope but sorrow.  
  
He dropped his tired body onto the couch behind him, his ice blue eyes scanning the mess he had just made. Papers scattered around, shards of glass, little bits and pieces of objects that couldn't be identified, and some pens and pencils scattered about. To anyone, it didn't look like a powerful man's office. More like a teenage child's messed up room.  
  
Squall Leonhart sighed. Out of the many sighs he let out in a day, this one felt rather comforting. A bottle of beer was in one hand, while the other was hanging lazily over the arm rest of the white leather couch.  
  
_I hate you...  
_  
He couldn't believe the emense anger building inside him as he smashed the bottle of alchohol against the wall infront of him._  
  
_   
_The grass is greener  
On the other side  
We take people for granted til they're  
Out of sight_  
  
  
The lost young man closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead in frustration._ I still don't understand....I don't understand. I don't. Why? Why did you leave? You simply disappeared.....do you know...how afraid I am? I don't know why I'm afraid...I'm afraid that maybe it was all my fault. Was it my fault? That you left me without saying good-bye? Did I not love you enough.....? Did I not treat you well enough? You wanted more...and I couldn't give it all to you. Is that it?_  
  
He groaned. _Stop talking to yourself idiot. The bitch is gone, it's not your fault, it's her fault...._Yet deep inside he felt unsure of the words spinning in his head. He hated how one side of him still...supported _her_ . While the other half of him was at least sensable and knowing reality and that_ she _was the one who left him, and that was that.   
  
Yet after all these years, he hadn't found another. No other could catch his heart, no other could..replace her role in his life...and that was what he hated. He felt weak. _Why Rinoa? Why can't you leave me alone? Is it not enough that you taunt me in my dreams and reality, that you want to cling onto my memories and nag at me? Why..why are you always there...you left me, but why...are you still in my mind? What are you trying to do, sorceress? Do you want me to waste away and the last things for me to think of is of you?_ _You're just a little girl...you can't control my life, but look what you did to it already. I was wrong...I'm the weak one...I've always been.....haven't I? The little boy all alone.....sitting there, waiting. I'm always the one waiting. For Sis..for you. For you to come back, but you won't. Because you hate me don't you? That doesn't matter, I hate you too._  
  
Squall threw his head into his hands. He couldn't stop thinking, he couldn't stop the menacing voice in his head. He was lost, and he didn't know what to do.   
  
  
  
_  
Love, such a lonely place  
Nobody wants to be alone  
To have the world but no one to share it with_  
  
  
  
It was Saturday morning, the rain had stopped, leaving moist green grass and sparkling streets, as a young woman opened her eyes to greet the new morning.  
  
For moments she stayed still, staring at the ceiling with her big almond chocolate eyes. So full of emotion and passion, yet longing at the same time.  
  
She finally sat up, her long raven hair cascading down her. It wasn't completely straight, with a slight curl at the tips of it, though she remembered very well the time she had her hair straight.  
  
Another day...to face...She thought as she stood infront of her mirror and frowned at herself. Her delicate hands gripped around her cream colored brush as she untangled her locks of hair. Yet after two strokes she sighed and placed the comb down, walking idly to the window facing the back yard of the mansion.  
  
"Hello world, it's me." She greeted softly and got no response. An emptiness welled up inside her as fresh round tears built up in her eyes.  
  
She quickly left the window and sat down on the peach colored carpet, her knees pulled up to her chest.   
  
_Why is life unfair. Why did it have to be me...why?_ She tried to stop herself from asking the same questions over and over again, but she couldn't hold back her frustration. Her head started pounding, yet it hadn't been so fierce since two weeks ago.  
  
She groaned as she doubled over onto her back as her body felt extremely hot, as if she burned. She screamed, no one would hear her anyways.  
  
Her soft voice turned into a deeper and louder one, one she couldn't stand. Her eyes flashed from her rich brown to a dark maroon and then purple._ No._ Was the only word that spun in her head.  
  
She clutched her fists onto her bed sheets but they melted away from her hands. She quickly let go of anything and ran into the bathroom, splashing her face with cold water.  
  
Her heartbeat slowed as she felt the burning sensation die down. She raised her eyes to the mirror, and was relieved to see her usual color.  
  
_I get so lonely  
Thinking about you  
  
_And she let herself cry._  
  
  
  
  
_"Squall!" A young man wearing a cow boy hat tapped at the double door leading to the office of Balamb Garden. "Squall!" He yelled again.  
  
He could hear a groan from inside and he frowned. "I'm knocking this door over if you don't-" Yet he was interuppted by the opening of the door, and the headmaster of Balamb Garden staring at him with unfocused hazel eyes.  
  
Irvine frowned, he was use to seeing Squall in the state he was now, but he didn't know why recently Squall seemed to be getting worse and falling into a deeper state of depression.  
  
Squall said nothing, but continued to stare ahead of him, and Irvine couldn't help but yell, "Damnit Squall! The garden needs you don't you get it?! If their headmaster is a piece of junk, what's gonna happen to this place?! Huh?"  
  
There was silence, until finally he responded. "....Nothing."  
  
Irvine sighed, "Ok, I just came by to tell you that Galbadia Garden sends an invitation to you, the headmaster, and some of his guests to attend the garden's anniversary dinner."  
  
Squall smirked, much to Irvine's surprise since it was probably the first time he saw Squall's expression change in a long time. "Just get Quistis to go. Or you."  
  
Irvine crossed his arms. "I would love to go, but they mainly want to invite you don't! We gotta stay on good terms with Galbadia! Even I have the brains to figure that out."  
  
"You've always had the brains," Squall muttered back groggily.  
  
Irvine turned to leave. "You're going Squall, even if you don't want to." And then he walked off.  
  
Squall retreated back into his room, to lazy to close the door to his office. "Galbadia....." He murmered to himself as he fell asleep sitting infront of his desk.  
  
  
  
Selphie jumped into a sitting position ontop of the cafeteria table that Quistis occupied. "I've come up with an idea!" She said thoughfully.  
  
Quistis raised an eyebrow. '"And that is?"  
  
"Maybe we should get Squall to take some meditating lessons you know? To calm his soul?" Selphie placed a finger under her chin.  
  
The blonde instructor sighed and rolled her sapphire her eyes. "Dear god Selphie! We need intellegient ways to help Squall."  
  
"But it could work!" Selphie frowned.  
  
"Yes, but do you think Squall would be willing to go along with it?"  
  
Selphie blinked, "Well unrealistically yeah, but realistically no."  
  
"Exactly," Quistis uncrossed her long legs and stretched her arms. "So did you hear from Irvine?"  
  
"Yeah, he went to tell Squall about the dinner party," Selphie took a proper seat across from Quistis. "He said he didn't exactly reply."  
  
Quistis gazed into the bottom of her cup and sagged her shoulders in disappointment. "He really isn't getting any better."  
  
"That's why we have to get him to go! He hasn't seen the world in ages," Selphie frowned, which was unusal for a cheerful girl like herself. "Oh Quisty!! What if Squall never gets better..."  
  
"Don't say that," Quistis snapped and then sighed. "I'm sorry Selphie, I didn't mean to sound harsh."  
  
"No, I understand," Selphie gave a small smile. "Yeah, Squall will get better! Right?"  
  
Quistis smiled meekly back. "Yes...Squall will get better." She finished off with confidence.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	5. The Red Rose

  
  
  
  
  
AN: Thanks for the reviews so far :) They're really encouraging, and I really want to get Squall and Rinoa back together, but.....maybe I'm evil and I'll never let them meet!! Nah...I'm not that cruel :P Well, hope you enjoy this chapter.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own FF8 and everything in it, Squaresoft does.  
  
  
  
  
  
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**~My Song to You~  
Chapter Five: The Red Rose**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Squall didn't know how he let them talk him into it, but there he was, standing in the long line up waiting outside the fancy building of Galbadia's grandest theatre, The Red Rose.  
  
There he was, tall and grumpy, in a dark black suit that Selphie had persuaded him to wear for endless hours. And finally, he gave up, at least he got his peace from that nagging little voice.  
_  
Whatever...I can just sit, stare, and think. No one will notice._ He thought, rather making his situation more pleasant with his thoughts.  
  
"Come on Squall, the line is moving up," Quistis nudged him out of his usual revere as she nodded politely at the guards at the entrance.  
  
Zell tagged along behind, looking around the lobby room as they entered. "Do you think they have a food court thing here?"  
  
Quistis shot him an impatient look and he obediently shut up. Squall took no notice of them as his eyes drifted around the high ceiling of the lobby. It had intricate designs of angels and curls dancing among the ceiling, and once again he was lost in thought until he felt the usual nudge from his former Instructor Trepe.  
  
The auditiorium was vast and filled with maroon velvet chairs, hence the name of the theatre. The murmer of voices was heard in the air, a few urgent calls and sneezes, but everyone eventually settled down into their seats.  
  
Squall immediately paid no attention to the stage, but instead started staring intently at the balding head of the man sitting in front of him.  
  
Zell looked over Quistis' shoulder to look at the program sheet she had in her hands. "Aw man!! Dinner comes after the whole music thing."  
  
Quistis stiffled a laugh since everyone was utterly silent. "Shh." She mouthed to the blonde energetic man beside her.  
  
Suddenly the lights dimmed and a middle aged man came up to the stage, Galabadia's new leader after the most recent sorceress war. President Ryan Deling, a brother of Vintzer Deling himself.  
  
"Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to Galbadia's grandest theatre, The Red Rose!" He announced proudly as the crowd abrupted into applause. "As you know, you are all honoured guests to tonight's dinner to celebrate Galbadia's anniversary."  
  
Squall stiffled a yawn as he gazed past the balding head infront of him to another head two rows infront. It was when Ryan Deling stepped aside and the lights dimmed that he finally took notice of the real world.  
  
The stage was dark, except in the middle a spotlight shone, casting light on a black grand piano. The sound of high heels clicking against the wooden stage could be heard as the crowd waited intently for whomever it was to appear.  
  
And finally, she did.  
  
Her tall slender figure glided across the stage towards the black mass that was the piano. Her long tendrils of hair cascaded around her with elegance as she took her seat without a sound. Yet her face was masked, for whatever reason, but Squall could still see through the mask and into the round passionate chocolate eyes of the pianist.  
  
He was mesmerized by her beauty and an air of hope that surrounded her, yet at the same time he scolded himself for such nonsense.  
  
The silence was broken when the young woman placed her long fingers onto the piano and started her song. The crowd was taken away. Taken away to her world, with her music, and everyone listened intently.  
  
"I'll be waiting..." Her lips suddenly parted, and the crowd seemed even more shocked that this young woman had such a voice. Smooth and light, melodious to all ears.  
  
Squall's eyes widened, his head hurt. _I'll be waiting.....why?_ He shut his eyes, memories...  
  
"and I'll always be....." Her voice now seemed to taunt him, yet he knew she wasn't. The young woman was merily singing her song and playing her piano. He frowned at his illusions.  
  
_Yet you may hate me  
Yet you may love me  
I do not care, for I know I love you.  
  
It's not my fault, that I had to go  
Did you know, what I was going through?  
And now you might stare  
At me with hatred in your eyes...  
  
But please still be waiting...  
For me..._  
  
She lifted her hands from the keys, yet the song seemed incomplete, and she knew it. She raised herself from the black leather bench and faced the crowd slowly.  
  
"This song may sound incomplete, because it is. It is not finished, and it never will be, until I know what is to come." And with that she walked off the stage, leaving a confused and startled audience.  
  
Squall stared, and stared, at that very spot that young woman had stood. He was having a racking headache, and he didn't know why._ Why does that girl look familiar? Why is her song so...familiar also? Yet I never heard of anything like it, but I feel like....I know how she feels...what? What am I saying?_  
  
His icy eyes darted to the program in Quistis' lap as he snatched it from her lap. His eyes leaped to find the name of the performer that had just made him so confused.  
  
"Scarlet Rose" He mumbled as his eyes scanned the name over and over, backwards and forwards. _That's obviously not her real name...or is it?_  
  
Quistis noticed Squall's sudden tension and she looked at him curiously. "Is something wrong Squall?"  
  
"No," He replied shortly as he stood to leave.  
  
"Hey wait, where are you going?!" Zell called startled, but was hissed at by the many people trying to watch the next performance up on the stage.  
  
Squall didn't reply but hurridly walked off. _ I know that girl...or maybe I don't, but there's something about her that I feel like I know._  
  
  
  
  
She walked into the change room and took off the dark blood red mask that hid her face. President Deling had told her that he had invited all of the leaders of every Garden. And for some reason, _ he _could've been in that crowd. He could've heard her sing those words, that were dedicated to him secretly in her heart. One side of her dearly hope he had not come...yet one side mercilessly knew that she had wanted him to hear that song.  
  
"Rose?"  
  
She blinked her round almond eyes and turned to look over her shoulder. "Yes?"  
  
"There's a big-looking man outside walking around, I think he's lost."  
  
Rose stood up and walked towards the door and peeked through the small crack. Her eyes widened as she quickly shrunk back from it. "No, he's not lost, I think he's a...a theif." She uttered.  
  
"A theif?!" Said a fellow performer. "We better call the guards then!"  
  
Rose was numb as the rest called security to go after the man that she knew was anything but a theif. She dropped back onto her seat and stared dumbly at her reflection.  
  
_What's wrong with you Rinoa? You want to see him...don't you...? You want him to see you too...yet I'm hiding. I'm sorry Squall..._  
  
  
  
Squall looked around the dimly lighted hallway he was in. He scratched his head until one door caught his attention. A door that had a little star on it.  
  
He advanced towards that door until he felt a heavy hand on his shoulder. Squall spun back, a glare in his eyes.  
  
"What are you doing here young man?" An officer grunted.  
  
Squalled narrowed his eyes at him and stood up straight. "I was looking for the washroom." He grumbled impatiently, mad that he had gotten caught.  
  
"Door next to the elevator. Go down this hallway and turn right, you won't miss it."  
  
Squall nodded as a thank you and walked off with a frown. _Maybe I'll see her at dinner..._  
  
  



	6. Murder

  
  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own FF8 and everything in it, Squaresoft does.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
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~My Song to You~  
Chapter Six: Murder**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The long oak dining table took up more than half of the furnished and carpeted room. A grand crystal chandlier hung in the center of the room, casting its light on the guests sitting below. The room was awfully brown, and Squall didn't know why it bugged him. Brown was a color you'd see everywhere, but he was anxious. Anxious to see her, not wooden tables or the serious looking faces of representitives of every garden that existed.  
  
He was dismayed when he noticed all the seats were filled except for one which was five seats away from his, diagonally. Quistis noticed his anxiety and couldn't help but feel the same as him.  
  
"Squa.." She was cut off by the light tapping of a spoon on a wine glass.  
  
Everyone's attention was turned towards the head of the table, where Ryan Deling stood with a some what smile on his aging face. He placed the silverware back onto the table and clapped his hands together. "Well, as you all know, you are all honoured guests to be at this dinner tonight. Let us all congratulate Galbadia Garden's renaissance a sucess!"  
  
Everyone raised their glasses and a loud 'cling' sound rung around the room as applaud and cheers were the only sound in the cozy room.  
  
President Deling took his seat once again. "Let us begin then."  
  
Squall stared at his plate with boredom shown on his face, whereas Zell was staring at his plate with complete interest. Quistis shifted her sapphire eyes around and occasionally casted a worried glance towards Squall, but he paid no heed to notice.  
_  
Damnit...I don't need to give a damn who she was... _And with that he stabbed his fork into the meat infront of him.  
  
  
  
  
She walked alone, all alone, through the dark and empty streets of Galbadia. Her pale hand tucked a strand of long dark hair behind her nicely shaped ears as she continued on her way slowly, pulling her long coat closer.  
  
Her body shivered as she waited for the light to change. The red light seemed to vibrate as she stared at it, and it frightened her for no reason.  
  
Finally, the light changed to green and she walked hastilly past, not wanting people to see her. It was starting to drizzle, and she would love to be sitting at home, even though it was rather frightening to live in a huge mansion all alone.  
  
Her heels clicked against the wet pavement as she turned a corner that was completely empty except for a hunched over shadow. Out of curiousity, she went closer to the shadow and lowered herself to see if she was able to see the person's face.  
  
"Excuse me? Are you alright?" She asked softly.  
  
The person stepped out of the shadows and she found herself staring at a wrinkled face of an old old man. He looked ancient almost, and it seemed like if she tapped him he would fall right over.  
  
"Why would you care..." He stated it more than asking a question.  
  
The young woman stepped back a bit, a bit surprised at the response. "I...I was just...making sure..."  
  
"Sorceresses have no heart, they do not care about lives, more so of a homeless old man's life!" He spat.  
  
Her round eyes widened. "How..."  
  
"I can see young one," The lips of the wrinkled face curled into a smirked, showing the few yellow teeth left. "You heartless creature!" He advanced slowly towards her with a pointed bony finger.  
  
She stared, horrified, although she knew she was much more stronger than this old man. "Nothing but a heartless witch! **Witch**!!" He continued to holler at her.  
  
Her hands flew to her ears as she backed away. "Stop it!! I'm not like that..." She cried back weakly.  
  
"Don't act innocent...I've been alive many decades and I know. I tell you witch, I know when one is asking for pity! And that's what I will give you! I pity you, for being such a cruel thing, all you strive for, all your life's goal, is just power."  
  
"You won't ever suceed, good always wins."  
  
"You'll never have a family."  
  
"A sweet loving child to greet you everyday, no one to call you mom."  
  
"No one will ever be there, no one will stand by your side. And if they do, they are frightened. Frightened to loose there lives under your cruel little hands." His menacing piercing grey eyes shot at her like bullets.  
  
She felt hot burning tears at the verge of spilling. "Who are you?! Why are you being so mean to me?!"  
  
"Mean?!" The old man laughed...literally cackled. "You're the one who will cause the world chaos."  
  
She couldn't take the hurtful words this old man was saying, and causing her. Her eyes flashed a brilliant bright purple as her hand shot out from the inside of her jacket pocket and her suddenly long fingers nails pierced the wrinkled flesh of the old man in front of her.  
  
The old man did not cry, did not scream, did not look in anguish. But he merily smirked, showing his yellow teeth once again, and slowly raised one hand to point at her. "You...will...never...be..."  
  
Her grip tightened, her blazing purple eyes giving no sign of weakening.  
  
"loved..." And the old man dropped dead.  
  
  
  
The next thing she knew, she was at home. Laying on her pink covered sheeted bed, her chocolate brown eyes staring intently at the peach coloured ceiling above her.  
  
Rinoa Heartilly felt sick.  
  
She sat up and stared at her right hand, her nails were normal, but she could see the stain of fresh blood still emarked and soaked into her skin. She felt like throwing up, who wouldn't?  
  
_Oh Hyne...Oh Hyne..._ Was all that repeated in her head as she buried her face into her hands, tears spilling freely now that she was alone.  
  
_I'm sorry..._ She uttered. _I didn't mean to...I...I really didn't...I couldn't control myself...my emotions...aren't in my control. I'm sorry...oh dear Hyne I'm sorry.._  
  
Rinoa stared at her hands with anguish as she slammed them against her wooden desk, not feeling any pain, she just felt numb. _I killed someone...I killed someone..._  
  
Her puffy eyes lowered and landed on a picture frame of her and Angelo. She missed that dog...who always stuck with her when ever she needed help. But she had to give Angelo up, she was scared. Scared that she would possibly hurt her beloved dog also, just as she did tonight.  
  
Yet one thing nagged at her. Who was the old man...and how did he know so much. It sent a chill down her spine and she wondered if he was one of those old fortune tellers or people that claimed to be able to _see_ .  
  
She stepped into the washroom slowly and turned on the warm water from the tap. She stuck her stained hand under the running water and watched as it blended and disappeared completely with the clear liquid.  
  
Somehow, she knew she would never forget this day. Her very hands that brought her happiness and music to others, were weapons to innocent lives. She couldn't stand it.  
  
_ You're a murderer Rinoa Heartilly._ A little voice screamed in her already filled mind.   
  
She hit her head on the washroom cabinet. "I know! I know...please...leave me alone..." She muttered to herself.  
  
Now she was hallucinating. "What's wrong with me...am I that..messed up?! I'm talking to myself...I'm killing people...I can't even control myself.....hyne..." A fresh set of tears found their way down her pale cheeks.  
  
_Stop pitying yourself Rinoa. It's not going to help, because you're a killer, plain and simple. That's all you are...that old man was right. You'll never be loved, you'll never have a loving family, a kid to greet you 'mama'. No love, no family, no future. You have nothing Rinoa._  
  
"...That's true..." She couldn't help but start to believe the little fights she was having in her mind. This reminded her of Squall. He had little quarrels with his thoughts. And here she was, doing the exact same thing.  
  
S_omeday they're going to find out, what you did tonight...and they're going to come after you, and everyone's going to be merciless. They'll find you, and do the exact same thing you did to that man. Maybe worst, but for sure, they'll come..._  
  
She clenched her fists into tight balls as she pulled at her hair. Another pounding headache seemed to arise and all she could do was sit on the marble washroom floor.  
  
"They're all after me..."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
AN: Basically Rinoa is just really...freaked that she actually killed someone. Not like she wanted to though. And now she's starting to hallucinate with her own thoughts and things. If that wasn't clear in the fic I'm just clearing up some things ^^;; Hope you guys liked this chapter and stay tuned ~  
  
  



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